21 March, 2008

And So The Poor Doggie Had None

As of one hour ago, when I ate a carrot, I have no food in the house.

For serious. I have nothing but condiments, and almost none of those.

So, I'm revising my recipe request: if anyone has a recipe in which half a jar of mustard, a tablespoon of hoisin sauce and three wrinkled cherry tomatoes comprise the sole ingredients, I'd really appreciate it.

5 comments:

His Whoreness said...

1. Char the tomatoes over an open flame until the skin is blackened

2. Remove the skin under cold water

3. Dry tomatoes to remove excess water

4. Heat the hoisin sauce in a pot, stirring constantly until the sauce thickens and intensifies in colour

5. Add the tomatoes to the sauce and stir vigorously to help them break down in the sauce

6. Slowly add water and stir constantly so that thickened sauce becomes like a flavoured stock

7. Add small amounts of mustard until the stock takes on an element of sharpness but before it tastes like mustard water

8. Gradually add more water until the intensity of the flavour of the stock/soup reaches a point where you think you might not enjoy it if you kept adding water

9. Serve in bowl of your choice

10. Enjoy as much as one could possibly enjoy a soup of this kind

11. Blog about said soup

12. Respond to comments posted against said blog post

His Whoreness said...

Feel free to confer any worthy title on that recipe you deem appropriate - take it to Neil Perry at Rockpool, and make a mint!

Anonymous said...

You might avoid the complication of a recipe as I know my brother survived for a time on the free condiments (by themselves) at the student union. Well the condiments and popcorn and drugs at home. Large Louie

Your Host said...

Drugs! Great idea, Louie.

I have since been shopping, and now have soy milk, gluten-free muesli and A LOT OF RED WINE to add to the mix.

Everything's coming up roses for me!

Your Host said...

Ugh, my keyboard is sticky ,.